“Prayer needs your attention” “Perception Matters”

I used to pray.

I used to pray from fear.

I used to pray from sorrow.

I used to pray from defense.

Many times my prayers were nothing more then a series of statements in which I begged.

Begged a god to spare me…to beg a god spare my children.. beg to explain to me why he/she despised me so much. Since my life was so…painful…so uncertain..so much of a battle. 

My prayers were nothing more than a series of words to a god whom I felt was absent most of the time yet present enough to be very very angry with me.

 

I never really knew why.
But I believed god or goddess was angry and that was what mattered.

 

Childhood forms a lot of our ideas, our fears and hopes. Childhood sets the stage for who we will be later in and what we will do. 

My childhood wrought with an angry father and a mother who was about one person herself set the stage for this child to feel unloved guilty and deserving of a life of ‘paying’.
So it transferred to god.

My image of god was that he/she was similar to my parents.

And that was not good.

 

I prayed once tears in hand and asked god to show me what he/she was really like.

An analogy appeared in my head it went as follows:

 

“There were two men. Both had wonderful jobs beautiful loving wives and fine children.”

The first man let’s call him Adam.
Adam 
prayed faithfully and attended Church weekly.

Adam just knew god loved him.

Adam liked his job he liked his beautiful wife, Eve, he liked his children.

But Adam did not understand that his wife felt like Adam was so preoccupied with his job and making money that he failed to pay attention to her.
Once, there was  a love between them that was true and strong.

They would laugh and spend hours together whether with just each other or with the kids.
They had enjoyed each other and enjoyed each other’s company.  
But now she had felt ignored and unappreciated.
She was thinking of leaving.

Adam was too busy to notice. He ignored her pleas to sit down and talk things out.

One day his company filed for bankruptcy, he lost his job.

Angry and despondent Adam began to drink.
When he drank, he became mean and belligerent.
Eve could not take it any longer and so she left taking the kids with her.
Adam upon learning his family was gone stormed into the Church his fist clenched screaming “God why?” “Why did you let this happen” “I lost EVERYTHING” “I am so angry with you God until you restore everything I will never set foot in here again”.

 

And he left to lead a miserable angry life.

The second man let’s call him Seth.
Seth 
prayed faithfully and attended Church weekly.

Seth just knew god loved him.

Seth liked his job he liked his beautiful wife, Marion, he liked his children.

But Seth did not understand that his wife felt like Seth was so preoccupied with his job and making money that he failed to pay attention to her.
Once, there was  a love between them that was true and strong.

They would laugh and spend hours together whether with just each other or with the kids.
They had enjoyed each other and enjoyed each other’s company.  
But now she had felt ignored and unappreciated.
She was thinking of leaving.

Seth was too busy to notice. He ignored her pleas to sit down and talk things out.

One day his company filed for bankruptcy, he lost his job.

Angry and despondent Seth began to drink.
When he drank he became mean and belligerent.
Marion could not take it any longer and she left taking the kids with her.
Realizing the extent of what was going on Seth rushed to Church and began to cry.

“God why?” “Why did you let this happen” “I lost EVERYTHING”
“I won’t leave here until you show me why this happened.”
He stayed in Church and he wept bitterly for over 3 hours.
Looking up to the heavens he thanked god for what had happened saying 
“Thank you god because now I understand I was so preoccupied with my job and making money that I failed to see the love my wife and kids have for me.” “thank you god,for if I had not lost my job I would never have noticed”.

Leaving the Church he saw Marion he rushed into her arms. “I’m sorry Marion I am so sorry I had become so intent of making money and being a great success that I did not realize what my greatest gifts were.

He left with Marion and lived a long life with just enough to get by but he was the happiest man alive and thanked god every day.

The question is:

 

Which god was nicer? Adam’s god or Seth’s god?

 

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By "Kiss Me I'm Psychic"